Anatomy of Divorce by Robert Tansley

The objective of The Anatomy of Divorce is to present details of one divorce and explore the complexity of its circumstances. This book will offer an explanation to assist people struggling in separation and divorce in their healing. It is written autobiographically and referenced by court documents and letters to lawyers. Our aim is to help those who have experienced divorce or are in the midst of divorce to find a path to healing, to letting go, to moving on and finding some peace. The story involves social workers, lawyers, judges, psychologists, and doctors and henceforth the book could be used in teaching as a case study.

The Anatomy of Divorce is a journey from love and bliss to destruction and vengeance. Stories have chapters and so do our lives. This book outlines one divorce, one experience of divorce; a person’s soul, their deepest thoughts and feelings. The author wanted to explain how a relationship, a commitment, can have happiness, joy, and then begin to come apart and explode. How does it happen? Where are the vulnerabilities and how do they emerge? How does change happen? How do people change and why? Then, after the crisis, the collapse, how do we rebuild? How does healing occur? How, after an attachment is torn apart leaving an open wound, do we rebuild? Divorce is an enigma all too common, yet so unique when considered in each case. Everyone’s pain is so personal and so powerful. Robert’s story will certainly benefit others. This is a story of hope, a journey of healing fraught with obstacles, challenges and barriers

ROBERT M. TANSLEY is the father of four children. He holds a Masters degree in Social Work from the University of Toronto and is the owner of RMT Counseling & Consulting Services in Brantford, Ontario. Tansley has worked for over 20 years with marriages and divorces. He has witnessed the damage people can do to one another and the carnage it leaves behind. Thus, in addition to professional experience, he also writes from personal perspective and this book is his journey of hope.

. . . At this moment, this moment of peace, the hotel room phone rang. The piercing sound broke my trance and the first domino fell. It was Sally. Her voice was harsh, cutting and distressed. She was yelling at such a pitch that initially I couldn’t understand her words. I had heard this tone before and here begins the contrast. On the one side, I had the perfect life. Almost any one of my friends would trade places with me. I had a great family, job, four great children, close friends, confidence, and talent. However, right beside that Norman Rockwell poster existence, I lived in constant fear. I lived in a very dark, unpredictable, volatile place, a place of violence and terror . . .